April 15, 2016 - I think that most people today recognize that people do not attend church nearly as often as back when we were mere children. I can recall that most churches were full of worshippers every Sunday morning and evening. Even Wednesday night prayer meetings were well attended
I realize that there are many different distractions from church attendance now than then. I read about a church that decided to take a survey of the entire neighborhood to find out the reasons that church attendance is not what it used to be. After analyzing the results, the church decided to make it possible for everyone to attend a church service, no matter their excuse.
The following ten adjustments will be made to accommodate those with a problem with the service:
1. Cots will be placed in the vestibule for those who say “Sunday is the only day for sleeping in.”
2. Eye drops will be available for those whose eyes are tired and red from watching TV too late on Saturday night.
3. Steel helmets will be available for those who believe that the church roof will cave in if they show up for church.
4. Blankets will be furnished for those who complain that the church is too cold. Fans will be on hand for those who say the church is too hot.
5. The church will have hearing aids for those who say that the pastor doesn’t talk loud enough. There will be cotton for those who feel the pastor talks too loud.
6. Score cards will be available for those who wish to count the hypocrites present.
7. The church guarantees that some relatives will be present for those who like to go visiting on Sunday morning.
8. There will be TV dinners available for those who claim that they can’t go to church and cook dinner, too.
9. One section of the church will have some trees and grass for those who see God in nature, especially out on the golf course.
10. The sanctuary will be decorated with both Christmas poinsettias and
Easter lilies to create a familiar environment for those who have never seen the church without them.
I think that I would add a couple more items to make the church service more attractive to some people. I would stock the concrete waterfall in front of the church with bass, and probably release some wild deer in the parking lot at the end of the service.
I read the story of a church deacon who missed service one Sunday morning. The pastor called the deacon after church and chided him a little by saying, “I heard that you went hunting this morning instead of church.” The deacon replied indignantly, “That’s a lie, pastor, and I have the fish to prove it.”
Perhaps a church in our area might initiate a “no excuse Sunday”. I would like to attend and see how it turns out. How about you?
