February 23, 2021 - Occasionally something will happen to you that leaves an indelible image in your mind. We have all been confronted with inane rules, or pure stupidity on the part of large companies. One such event occurred in 1985 when we moved back to San Augustine from North Carolina.
We had leased a house in the City Lake addition in preparation for our move. The house was vacant for a couple of weeks until we could transport our worldly goods from the north. During the interim I was busy getting things ready, such as water, gas, and telephone services connected. This is where Ma Bell comes in.
I called Southwestern Bell Telephone Company and requested they hook up the telephone service. Several days later the telephone installer arrived and took care of his job. He left, I checked the telephones, and they all worked. It was a couple of days later that I discovered that the installer had not left our new phone number. I looked around but could not find any information such as an account number or phone number.
You would think that this would be a simple problem to solve. You would be wrong. I called the special 800 number and found myself describing my problem to a young lady in some distant city. “I have new phone service, but the installer did not advise me my telephone number. Can you give that information to me?” I inquired. I gave her my full name, address, and city to assist in locating my information.
“I’m sorry, sir, but I will need your telephone number in order to find your account”, came her response. “But that is what I am trying to tell you, I do not know my telephone number. Just put my name in your computer and I am sure that it will find my account,” I insisted. “I’m sorry, sir, but I cannot do that without authorization,” she patiently explained. Now, things were getting sticky. I was caught in a “catch 22” situation here.
“Who do you need to get authorization from?” I queried. “This could be an unlisted number, in which case I cannot give the information to you,” she parroted to me. Seeing that I was getting nowhere in this dilemma, I asked to speak to her supervisor.
Hopefully, the supervisor would be more understanding of this idiotic situation. I explained the problem to her, “I am a new customer trying to find out what my telephone number is. It seems I must already know my number before I can find out what it is,” I explained, a little sarcasm creeping into my voice.
“Well, sir, I really should not give out this information since you can’t prove that you are really who you claim to be, however I will honor your request,” she cooed. She finally gave me a number just as my blood pressure reached stroke level. I immediately ordered several hundred business cards using that number.
Approximately a week later, I received a letter from Ma Bell explaining that my telephone number had been changed, no reason given. It seemed no other way to answer this than round number two on the telephone.
I was educated to the ways of Ma Bell by this time, so I went straight to the supervisor in charge of changing telephone numbers. “Why did you change my number?” I demanded. “Well, you were told that the number originally given to you was only a temporary number, and was subject to change,” she informed me. “I was? I don’t recall any such information given to me,” I protested. “We always warn customers to wait a couple of weeks to make sure the number stays permanent,” I was informed. I felt like a first grader being scolded by the principal.
“Maam, I was never told this, and now I have several hundred business cards with the wrong number on them. I will expect your company to reimburse me for this expense since you are the guilty party,” I protested. “Sir, we will not do that, and, by the way, if you are going to use this number for business purposes, we will have to charge you business rates,” came her final blow. On second thought, maybe she had a good point here. I was not opening a business, however, was its worth round number three. Not only can you not successfully fight city hall, but you also can’t win with Ma Bell, either.
