November 28, 2022 - It seems that children see things regarding church through kid’s eyes, and they don’t always hear it right. One of my earliest memories is that of being in church with my father, Cecil. I recall that I kept trying to talk out loud during the service and Dad would tell me to be quiet. After church Dad was holding me in his arms when Bro. Russell Smith walked up and asked me how I liked the service. I replied, “Well, I didn’t like it.” Bro. Smith inquired as to why I didn’t. I told him, “Because nobody gets to say anything but you.”
The late Art Linkletter was host of the CBS television program “The House Party” for over twenty-five years. One segment of that program during the 1950s was called “Kids Say the Darndest Things” in which he asked kids questions on everyday topics. Their replies were revealing and humorous. Kids also say the darndest things about church and religion.
It seems that youngsters are quite honest and will tell you just what they think about any subject. Apparently religion in general and church in particular present a problem for the youngsters. The Lord’s Prayer seems to present kids with problems of understanding. For instance:
“Harold be thy name.”
“Give us this day our jelly bread.”
“Lead us not into Penn Station.”
“And deliver us from people.”
A child came home saying that they had sung about a bear at Sunday school. He explained it was about “Gladly the cross-eyed bear.” One youngster was heard singing “While shepherds washed their socks by night.” Another was heard singing the words “Round John Virgin.” Little Johnny came home and reported he had heard that the name of the king of Israel was “Born.” “Don’t you know…Born is the King of Israel?”
A little boy was drawing a picture in Sunday school. “What is it?” asked his teacher. “God”, he said. “But nobody has ever seen God and no one knows what he looks like”, she reminded him. “Then they will when I get through,” he said.
The Sunday school teacher in Texas was asking the children where Jesus was born. “Tyler?” one guessed. “No”, she said. “Lufkin?” another volunteered. “No”, she replied. “It was Palestine, Tommy.” “Oh, yes, I remember”, he said. “I knew it was somewhere in East Texas.”
Children love church service, but also have their opinions about it. One liked the music but thought the commercial was too long. To the question “Do you pray every night?” a little boy replied, “No – some nights I don’t need anything.”
A young boy, corrected for doing things with his left hand, said he was only doing like God had to do. How could God do otherwise when Jesus is, as the bible says, “sitting on his right hand?”
“What are the sins of omission?” was the Sunday school question. One answered, “those you should have committed but didn’t.” A three-year-old chanted during the Christmas season, “Not a preacher was stirring, not even a mouse.”
The Sunday school teacher asked the class what they’d do if they were in the situation with Pharaoh’s daughter, hearing the baby crying in the bulrushes. A little girl’s hand went up. “I’d change him,” she said. Another Sunday school teacher was relating the story of the Good Samaritan, with all the gory details. “Now if you saw a man there, lying on the roadside, wounded and bleeding, what would you do?” A little girl volunteered, “I’d throw up!”
It was December 26th in a Catholic church in San Francisco. The “infant Jesus” was missing from the manger scene. The priest finally found him outside, riding in the red wagon of a little boy who explained, “A week before Christmas I prayed to the little Lord Jesus and I told him if he would send me a red wagon for Christmas, I’d give him a ride in it.”
A four-year-old heard a television sermon saying that it would be good if even little children could be Christians. He turned to his mother and said, “Wouldn’t it be good if we weren’t Presbyterians so we could be Christians?”
A little boy was saying his prayers in a very low voice. His mother said “Dear, I can’t hear you.” He replied, “But, I wasn’t talking to you.” Another little boy said that in church they learned “Don’t worry – you’ll get your quilt.” Mamma discovered it actually was, “Fear not - the comforter will come.”
And, finally, there was a four-year-old who had been saying, “Thank you for the food. Amen.” He took advantage of his parents’ encouragement to say a little more on the night they had liver and onions, which he didn’t like. “Thank you for this food – and help us to get it down all right. Amen.”
One little boy pretty well summed things up when he told his mother, “Mother, if you ever go to the circus, you’ll never go to church again!”
Out of the mouth of babes…
