December 3, 2024 - There is an old saying, mostly true, that says, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” My wife, Clara, recently proved an exception to that adage. She purchased a new cell phone, the one with all the bells and whistles. Not only does it make and receive phone calls, it takes still pictures, moving pictures, gets you on the web, and I assume will prepare dinner.
For some reason, she decided to try sending a text message. After studying the directions contained in a tiny booklet, she decided to try her hand at the popular procedure. A little girl at my church needed a twirling baton to start her lessons. We immediately thought of our daughter’s baton which she used many years ago which was stashed away in a guest closet. “Do you think Kay would mind if we let our little friend borrow her old baton?” Clara wondered out loud. “I guess you just need to call her and find out,” I answered.
Glancing at the clock, it was showing 11:30 in the evening. “Oh, Kay will be in bed. I think I will try to send her a text message on my new phone,” Clara opined. She got her new telephone wonder, along with the instruction book, sat down and began writing a text. I was concentrating on watching a TV movie but kept being interrupted by remarks – “Oops, that didn’t work – shoot! What did I do wrong? How do I find the letter ‘B’? Where is the space bar? How do you make a period?” All I could think of to answer was, “I don’t know. It’s your phone.”
After thirty-five minutes she finally had completed her message and hit the “send” button. Off the message went to Kay’s phone.
On the other end, Kay was in bed when she heard a noise. “Lester, what was that?” she asked. “It’s your cell phone. You just received a text message,” Lester replied as he searched for the phone in the darkness. “I wonder who it could be at this time of night?” she asked. “It’s from your mother!” Lester announced. Kay sat up in bed, “But it couldn’t be. Mom doesn’t text.” “But it’s her telephone number, Hun.” Slightly alarmed, Kay asked, “What does it say?” “Well, it says, ‘can I borrow your baton’…” Confused, Kay asked, “What does that mean… my baton?” she wondered out loud. “Beats me,” Lester exclaimed. “Maybe you had better call her and find out.”
Kay called around midnight to find out what was going on with her non-texting mother. We all had a good laugh from her first text message. However, it did lead to numerous other texting. At 30 cents per text, I have had to apply the brakes to this new-found talent. Now she can send one in less than fifteen minutes. Last month her texting cost $7.00, which works out to about 24 messages. Now I understand how some people can run up a gigantic telephone bill without realizing it. As for me, all I want my telephone to do is send and receive calls…I use my watch to check the time, my calendar to check the date, my camera to take pictures, my video camera to record events, my alarm clock to awaken me – so why do I need one of those hand held mini-computers which can do all that? Well, I gotta think about that one just a little longer.
